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40多岁未结婚的俞飞鸿 究竟有什么错?

2018-07-04 19:20     女人     来自:环球时报(英文版)-MySH

近期,在一档脱口秀节目上,中国女演员俞飞鸿被主持人窦文涛问到“你为什么一直单身到现在呢”,以及嘉宾冯唐一句:你一个待着的时候烦吗?面对两位男性的质疑,俞飞鸿的回答可以说很酷了!


而在现实生活中,更多的中国普通女性遭受着婚姻问题的困扰...


“我听你们俩说话,我有个特别不理解的地方,为什么从你们男人的角度看,结婚都是觉得对女人的施舍呢?”


“我们最终要嫁给的是爱情是契合的灵魂,不是社会意义上的时间”


我们环球时报的一位记者也关注到了该现象,写了以下这篇文章。


以下是GlobalTimes (Metro Shanghai)近期刊登的一篇评论,部分配有中文翻译:


What’s wrong about older women waiting for marriage?


"Why do you stay single for so long at such an age?" male TV host Dou Wentao recently asked 40-something Chinese actress Yu Feihong on his talk show. The actress answered, "It is not difficult to choose to stay single or get married. If I feel more comfortable single, I will stay single, and vice versa."

“为什么在你这个年纪还单身如此之久?”中国一位男主持窦文涛最近在他的脱口秀节目中向40多岁的中国女演员俞飞鸿提出这个问题。俞飞鸿回答说:“选择单身或结婚,这个决定本身并不难。但是,如果我觉得单身的状态让我感到更舒服,我会保持单身,反过来,如果婚姻能令我更为享受人生,我会选择结婚。”


The host continued, "Do you think a person is mentally normal if he or she stays single for a long time?" Ironically, the male host himself has never been married and is around four years older than the actress.

主持人继续问道:“如果一个人长时间保持单身,你认为他/她的精神正常吗?”讽刺的是,窦文涛自己从来没有结过婚,而且比俞飞鸿还大4岁左右。


The actress smiled and replied, "I have many friends that stay single, and most of them have an abundant spiritual world. They are not lonely mentally."

俞飞鸿笑着说:“我有很多朋友都是单身,他们大多都有丰富的精神世界。在精神上,他们并不孤独。


Their conversation raised heated online discussions, with many Chinese netizens criticizing the host for asking these gender-biased questions.

这段采访引起了中国网友们的热议,许多网民指责主持人为什么问这些带有性别偏见的问题。


Like many netizens, I too was pissed off upon hearing these silly questions. Why did the actress endure his offensive questioning instead of just getting up and walking off the set?

和许多网友一样,我听到这些愚蠢的问题,也很生气。为什么俞飞鸿要忍受他的无礼质问,她甚至可以站起来离开采访演播室?


From my perspective, the actress has a more successful career, more wealth, more beauty and more talent than most Chinese women at her age. However, even as successful as she is, she must bear devaluation and discrimination just for being unmarried.

我觉得,俞飞鸿比跟她同龄的大多数中国女性都更为成功,更富有,更美丽,更有才华。但是,即便如此,她也得忍受仅仅因为未婚而带来的歧视。


In real life, for ordinary working-class people like me and you, social pressure toward unmarried middle-aged Chinese women is even more intense.

其实在现实生活中,对于普通工薪阶层的未婚中年女性来说,她们受到的社会压力甚至更大。


As a newspaper reporter, one of my interviewees, a beautiful and capable single Chinese lady in her late-30s, said her own relatives have drummed up rumors about her personal life in Shanghai, as they fail to understand why she is still unmarried.

我是一名新闻记者,而在我的采访对象中,其中有一位30多岁长得很美并且很有能力的上海女性,她说自己的亲戚甚至搞了一些关于她个人生活的谣言出来,只因为他们不明白她为什么至今不结婚。


"They thought I had secret lovers with some successful men, that this was the only possible reason why I am single at my age," she told me.

她告诉我说:“他们觉得我和一些成功男士有不可公开的秘密关系,只有这个原因可以说明为什么我在这个年纪还单着身。”


She added that her parents feel humiliated that their only daughter is unmarried at such a ripe age. "They don't like to attend any family gatherings or homecoming events anymore, as their peers always brag about having grandchildren, which makes them lose face."

她补充道,她的父母也因此感到蒙羞,因为他们唯一的女儿还没有结婚。“爸妈现在不喜欢参加任何家庭聚会或其他聚餐,因为他们的同龄人总是吹嘘自己的孙子,这让我爸妈觉得丢他们的脸。”


Likewise, another friend of mine, also in her late 30s, said her 40-something Chinese boyfriend broke up with her because he thought she had become "too old" to get pregnant. Because of this breakup, she started to question her value as a romantic partner, believing that no other Chinese men will ever love and accept her at her age.

同样的,我的另一个朋友,也在她30多岁的时候,告诉我她40多岁的男朋友和她分手了,理由是他认为她已经“太老”,不能怀孕。也因为这次分手,她开始质疑自己在爱情中的价值,在她这个年纪,是否会有中国男人真正地爱她,接受她。


I myself am in my late-20s and am also beginning to feel the pressures and limitations that society places on us. Due to the constant pressure by family to get married, single Chinese women like me generally have less time to explore (and fail at) gender relations than our male counterparts, which is all part of the learning process that is supposed to make us more experienced, well-rounded lovers.

我自己也快30了,开始感觉到社会对我们施加在这方面的压力。由于来自大家长不断地施加压力,跟男性相比,像我这样的单身中国女性通常没有多少时间去探索去思考类似的性别关系。探索的过程其实是恋爱婚姻学习的一部分,这也许会让我们成为更有经验、不再扁平化的恋人。


Meanwhile, men my age are free to play the dating field as they wish, with little or no pressure placed on them from relatives, workplace or society.

同时,与我年纪相仿的男性却可以随心所欲地浪,他们的家庭、工作或社会在这方面对他们几乎没有施加压力。


Our choices of who we want to meet, date and possibly marry also become more limited the older we become. Once we turn 30, even in big cities like Shanghai and Beijing, mature women are no longer considered "top shelf." Most men will automatically ignore us in favor of women in their 20s.

随着年龄的增长,我们对约会的对象以及可能结婚的对象,这些选择也越来越有限。一旦我们到了30岁,即使是在上海或北京这样的大城市,成熟女性也不再被认为是抢手货。大多数男人更偏爱20多岁的姑娘们。


"Men in their late-20s or 30s will choose to date women who are younger than them," my university roommate Judy, who is also in her late-20s, said. "They will no longer choose me first."。

“20多岁或30多岁的男性会选择和比自己年轻的女性约会,”我的大学室友朱迪,一个同样将近30岁的女孩子说,“我不在他们的优先考虑范围之内。”


I was glad to see Chinese actress Yu Feihong stand up for herself against host Dou Wentao, and I am happy that many other older, single Chinese women are also speaking out and striving for equality, respect and freedom in terms of marriage age.

我很高兴看到俞飞鸿站出来反驳窦文涛,我也很高兴看到其他中国单身女性也在大声疾呼,争取婚姻方面的平等、尊重和自由。


It will take a long time to change China's outdated social stereotypes, but we are indeed, slowly but surely, changing people's mindsets.

要改变中国社会过时的刻板印象可能需要很长时间,缓慢,但我们确实在努力地改变人们既有的心态。


但是也有网友站在另外一种角度看待这个问题:



对此,你有什么想说的吗?欢迎留言告诉小编喔!


原文:Wang Han

翻译/文案:Li Yangyichuan

图:Chen Xia、网络


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