首页> 军事> 一位中国母亲的焦虑:这年头,养女儿实在太不容易了……

一位中国母亲的焦虑:这年头,养女儿实在太不容易了……

2018-06-13 18:31     军事     来自:环球时报(英文版)-MySH

在当今社会,尤其一线城市,许多家庭对女孩的喜爱丝毫不少于男孩——有些准父母甚至直言,他们更想生个女儿。


但是……


前段时间,一枚上海的麻麻写了这样一篇文章


麻麻有个1岁半的女儿,年龄尚小。


但是,她已经开始为女儿成长中可能面临的一些危险而担心了起来……



(图文无关)



以下是GlobalTimes (Metro Shanghai)近期刊登的一篇评论,部分配有中文翻译:


Raising a Chinese daughter is not so easy in this day and age 



Up until the moment the nurse raised my new baby upside down in front of my eyes to check its gender, I had always hoped to have a boy rather than a girl. It was not because I preferred a son over a daughter. It was because I had foreseen that raising a daughter in this age would be more troublesome. An incident about a 10-year-old girl seduced by a 15-year-old boy once again reminded me of my fears. 


直到护士把我的宝宝倒着拎起来去查看性别时,我始终希望生的是个小子而不是闺女。这倒不是我重男轻女,而是我可以预见到,这年头养个女儿要“麻烦”多了……最近看到一则10岁女孩被15岁男孩引诱的新闻,更是加剧了我的恐惧。


According to media, the young girl's mother, who is divorced, happened to see her daughter's conversations with a boy on Chinese chat site QQ, which turned out to be an intimate relationship far beyond innocent puppy love. The boy asked the girl to learn wenai (a Chinese internet buzzword which means to have verbal sexual intercourse) to satisfy his pubescent desires.


根据媒体报道,这个受害女孩来自离异家庭,而她麻麻还刚好看过女儿和男孩的QQ聊天记录。这天聊得……怎么说呢……比那种天真无邪的“早恋”要过火太多了……为了满足自己那萌动的欲望,男孩甚至教女儿“文爱”——也就是说,用文字做爱 





▲10岁女孩的聊天记录



As a new mother, I am sure that I will soon have the same concerns as that mother. However, instead of blaming the boy, that girl's mother should also shoulder the responsibility and consequences of not raising her daughter properly.  After their secret relationship was discovered, the boy told the mother that he had no feelings toward the young girl - he was just using her - which was even more heartbreaking.


作为一枚新晋麻麻,我知道自己很快也会有这位麻麻一样的顾虑了。可是除了责备那个男孩以外,做母亲的自然也有责任:是她没有照顾好女儿,及时为她遮风挡雨。而更令人心碎的是,当这个女孩和男孩的秘密“恋情”被发现后,男孩还去告诉女孩麻麻:我对她其实没啥兴趣,只是利用她而已啦 


I have always believed that it is difficult to protect women from men. But now I realize that it is also difficult to protect a little girl from little boys. Their sexual desires emerge with puberty and they view female children as vulnerable and easy. 


我一直相信,要保护女人不被(坏)男人所利用,其实并不容易。可现在才发现,要让小女孩远离那些不轨小男孩的魔爪,也绝非易事。对于这些年少气盛又不懂事的男生来说,青春期萌动的欲念熊熊燃烧,而小女孩?不过就是些柔弱又好得手的东西罢了。


A 12-year-old couple from Shenyang, capital of Northeast China's Liaoning Province attempted to book a hotel room after school but were stopped by local police after a hotel worker noticed they were children, according to media reports in November 2014. However, other young girls are not so lucky and experience bitter consequences after a boy persuades them to taste the forbidden fruit.


2014年有媒体报道过,沈阳一对12岁的小“情侣”去酒店开房,被工作人员看出来是未成年,然后被警方所阻止。这件事倒是有惊无险地结束了,可并不是所有年幼的小姑娘在男孩们别有用心地诱使她们尝“禁果”时,都能如此幸运地躲过一劫。


Another 12-year-old girl, from Foshan, South China's Guangdong Province, was impregnated by her 14-year-old classmate, dayoo.com reported in November 2014. After the pregnancy was discovered by her teachers, she had an abortion. 


在佛山,就曾有一个12岁的女孩被14岁的同学所侵犯。女孩怀孕了,在被老师发觉后,她去做了流产。


Because many teenagers and tweens now have access to the internet on their own private mobile phones (given to them by their irresponsible parents), many young girls are more exposed to dangers both in reality and in the virtual world. They become the targets of pedophiles and dating scams. 


现在的小孩子们,被不负责任的家长惯着,几乎人手一个手机,能轻易接触到网上的光怪陆离。而无论在虚拟亦或现实世界中,女孩通常比男孩更容易遇到危险:她们更有可能成为恋童癖和恋爱诈骗等犯罪者的猎物。


Thus, it is a mother's responsibility to take good care of her daughter and prevent her from being preyed on. Compared with boys, girls are more vulnerable and need more comprehensive protection. 


故此,保护好自己的女儿,不让她受到伤害,这是每个母亲的责任。相比起男孩,女孩更容易受到伤害,也更需要多方面的保护。


My own mother-in-law, who raised two sons, agrees that girls need meticulous care beginning in infancy. For example, compared with boys, baby girls need their diapers changed more frequently to avoid diaper rash and infections. But boys can just pee anywhere they want without worry.


我的婆婆有两个儿子,但她也同意“女孩自出生起就更需要精心照顾”的观点。比方说,女婴需要更勤地更换尿布,已防止宝宝起尿布疹,或者受到感染。而男宝宝呢?随时随地,想尿就尿吧……


And while boys can fall asleep easily, my baby girl can hardly sleep during the daytime. Generally speaking, raising a girl needs more care and requires more effort.


此外,男宝宝似乎更易入睡,而我家的女娃在白天就比较折腾了……总之,通常情况下,养女儿需要更多的努力与关怀。


However, in a single-parent Chinese family, it is understandable that a girl who lacks fatherly love will easily get involved in puppy love. And it is also understandable that a single mother who has to take care of her daughter while also struggling in the workplace might neglect her daughter's needs. 


不过我也能理解,像这个被怂恿“文爱”10岁小女孩来自单亲家庭,缺少父爱的她更容易陷入早恋中。而作为单亲妈妈,小女孩的母亲平日忙于生计,疏忽了自己女儿的成长需求,也是情有可原。


But this mother's reaction and the measures she took after she found out about the QQ romance are questionable. She exposed the whole affair on the internet and placed the boy and her daughter in the spotlight, which will make everyone's lives worse off. Such a solution might solve the problem this time but probably not next time. 


然而,这位麻麻在发现女儿在QQ上的“秘密恋情”后的举措,却让人有些费解——她直接把整件事都发在了网上,把两个小孩推在聚光灯下,遭受舆论的指指点点,这不是更让自己女儿难堪了么?这次倒也算解决了问题,那么下次呢?


Correctly guiding rather than suppressing a child's puppy love is a more acceptable way to solve their psychological needs.


对于孩子们成长期间的心理需求——比如所谓的“早恋”,一味镇压不如正确地引导。疏比堵更重要。



原文:Stella Du

翻译:lanlan

图:Lu Ting、网络


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